This is written to all the guys out there in the world who are in any relationship with women. I’m speaking straight from my heart here. And believe me there’s a lot of passion coming behind me. Is the way you treat women honorable to them or does it treat them as dirt?
One of the things the ticks me off the most is when guys treat girls wrongly. Who gives you the right to use that girl for selfish, sexual, and emotional ambitions? Who? I can almost guarantee that your girl would give anything for a guy who would love her for who she is and not just for her body.
I think it begins first with the way we view girls. Do we view them just as “eye candy” or do you see them as a daughter of the same God that you say you serve? It sickens me to see guys do awful things to the girl they supposably love. How is that love? The Bible tells us in 1 John that true love is sacrifice. It’s what Jesus did for us on the cross. He did ultimate love sacrifice. Love is always looking for the benefit of the other person.
You guys that have your hands all over your girlfriends and then you go to church and take communion, the Lord’s body and blood, with the same hands like it’s no big deal. Tell me what’s right about that? Get your heart right. That’s so wrong. That’s how our culture thinks. It’s no longer rebelling to have sex, it’s rebelling to wait until marriage for sex.
I challenge you to rebel from our culture’s standards.
Be the leader in your relationship. In the relationship I’m in now with the girl that I like, I’ve had to step up and stop from foolish talking and such that would lead to something bad in the future. Sure it hurts, cause I’m naturally sexually attracted to her. But I also know that God is honored through our actions of waiting. The ultimate purpose of a relationship is to glorify God.
I would encourage you to set up guardrails in your relationship. What are guardrails on the road for? Exactly, keeping the car away from danger. And for the most part where are they located? Right up on the danger spot? No usually they are built back away from the problem. The same is true when we set up our guardrails in a relationship. You know yourself better than anyone. So you’re the one that needs to be the one who sets up those in your life. It’s for the sole purpose of keeping yourself from problems so that you can glorify God.
More than anything though, build your relationship on that which lasts: Christ. Too many relationships that I’ve seen have been built on emotion, and when a problem comes up because they’re foundation isn’t dug down deep in Christ; it blows away with the storm. Use the Bible as your counsel! There’s so much wisdom in it. Read books on relationship. Joshua Harris’ writing has been a huge blessing to me.
But, guys please take the initiative to lead your girl rightly. I can promise you that she will be crazy over that! That’s how God designed it! You lead, and she submits and you live in perfect harmony glorifying God by Biblical love. She longs for that leader in her life. And she also longs for that guy who will love her heart and not just her body. And your relationship will finally be based on that which lasts: Christ. Get your parents, friends, and pastor involved too! They have so much wisdom on topics like this.
Prayer is crucial. Pray and ask God to reveal to you His will for your life. It also involves you being in the Word, that’s His written revealed will! Submit to Him. God has put your parents in your life to guide you, and it’s our responsibility to submit to them (Eph 6) So trust their input if they are godly people, if not then find some older couple who knows you well that you can trust will be straight up with you.
Be comforted that God is sovereign and has the perfect partner lined up for you. Your job is to trust Him to bring her into your life in the right time. So please, I beg you, treat your girl and other girls with respect so that you honor God, her, and her parents. Remember that that heart, body, and mind isn’t yours until you are one with her.
Know that I love you with my whole heart and that’s why I write this. I want to see a change in the world in the ways guys treat girls.